06:19:29 am on
Saturday 20 Jul 2024

Horrible Movies
Matt Seinberg

Recently, I was gifted an app for my phone that will play most any current movie. When given the opportunity at home to watch something, my first choice was "Interstellar" starring Matthew McConaughey. I like science fiction movies

My wife always asks me, "Would you have liked it if you actually paid for a ticket?" The answer to all these movies is a big, fat, resounding no.

Optimistic about movie, at first.

I was optimistic for "Interstellar." The plodding story line and skin-deep characters dashed my hopes. Matt Damon, as one of the deep space astronauts who goes nuts, is a cliché done one time too many.

The ending was one of the worst I've ever seen. It was contrived; excessively deep for the average person to comprehend and convoluted enough that even smart people will shake their heads and go "huh?"

Marcy and I wanted to watch something one Saturday night, so we tried "Birdman," starring Michael Keaton. We tolerated it for about 45 minutes, and had to shut it off, it was that bad. I don't understand what all the Oscar™ fuss was over this movie. It was boring. Maybe something spectacular happened afterwards, but I'll never know.

"Tammy" is a movie about whining loser.

"Tammy," starring Melissa McCarthy was a-got-to-see for Marcy. Though I liked Ms McCarthy in "Mike and Molly," many of her movie roles just leave me cold. She keeps playing these obnoxious roles that want to make me hurl chunks. Although Susan Sarandon, as her grandmother was entertaining, McCarthy, as Tammy, was a pathetic, whining loser that needs to get her life together.

The two worst movies we saw were "Dumb and Dumber Too," starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, and "Horrible Bosses 2." I can see Carrey playing his role, again, considering that most of his roles are in stupid comedies. Still, t there is mp excuse for Daniels to stoop this low after hitting a high career point with HBO's "The Newsroom." How do you go from a critically acclaimed drama to a piece of crap comedy that isn't worth the film stock?

"Horrible Bosses 2" is a movie that wasn’t worth making. “Bosses 2” was ninety minutes of my life I will never get back. I'm upset over that. I wanted to see it because Chris Pine, of the new Star Trek franchise is in it. I really hope his agent got his ten per cent up front; I would have fired his sorry ass for putting Pine in this movie. He is as far from Capt. Kirk as I am.

Jason Bateman had a look on his face during the entire movie that pretty much said, "Help me get out of here! I only did it for the money and I'm going to fire my agent as well!"

At least that's how I read his face.

Jennifer Aniston was good in "Horrible Bosses 2."

The only character that I found amusing was Jennifer Aniston as the horny dentist who hosts a sex addiction class, in her office. She does this to meet the new horny men. She seduces them and then has sex in her office. It's how she does it, seduce and have sex in a swarmy, skevvy way that makes the character funny.

Thank goodness, I didn't pay for any of these movies in the theatre. I would have felt very disappointed and ripped off.

Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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