Buying Greenland
Matt Seinberg

One of the most ridiculous things heard this week was our idiot president saying he wanted to purchase Greenland from Denmark. He stated it would be just another real estate deal for him. Trump is no James Madison, nor is he an Andrew Johnson, although he may suffer the same fate as the latter.

Acquisitions expanded US territory.

The United States has three famous land acquisitions in its history. The first was the Louisiana Purchase, in 1803, from France. Negotiated by James Monroe and Robert R Livingston, on behalf of President Jefferson, a successful deal was certain, as Napoleon needed the money, desperately, to fund his war with England.

That purchase doubled the size of the USA and gave Jefferson the southern shipping port of New Orleans, which he truly desired. The purchase price was $15 million dollars; this made the cost three pennies per acre. Today, the acreage is worth roughly $600 billion. The purchased land stretched from New Orleans all the way to Alberta, Canada.

In 1867, the United States purchased Alaska from Russian for $7.2 million; that’s roughly $109 million today. The Russians didn't believe they could defend Alaska from Great Britain, which was the main reason for the sale. William Seward, Secretary of State in the cabinet of President Andrew Johnson, negotiated the purchase of Alaska.

Opponents of the purchase often called it Seward’s Folly or Seward’s Icebox, as the land barren and many thought useless. It wasn't until the Klondike Gold Rush, of 1896-1899, that the nickname went away. Then it didn't look like such a bad deal. Alaska became a state on 3 January 1959.

Finally, there is Hawaii. It became our last state on 21 August 1959. That wasn't as much a purchase as an acquisition. President McKinley signed the Newland Resolution on 7 July 1898, annexing it as the Territory of Hawaii.

For years, there was a debate: was the annexation legal. The matter was resolved on 23 November 1993, when President Bill Clinton signed the "Apology Resolution." This resolution apologized "to Native Hawaiians on behalf of the people of the United States for the overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii on 17 January 1893 ... and the deprivation of the rights of Native Hawaiians to self-determination." Over the years, debate of the implications of this resolution has been hot.

President as major real estate dealer (sic).

Trump portrays himself as a wheeler and dealer, but ignores the fact he has had more bankruptcies than has any other businessperson in American history. He infamously opened gaudy hotels qua casinos in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Each famously failed.

Trump stiffed local business owners and trades people, in the Atlantic City area, for money owed them for their work on the casinos. Most of his unpaid debts were to small businesses that couldn’t afford to sue him; these businesses had to close.

Greenland is an automous country of the Kingdom of Denmark. Although geographically part of North America, Greenland is independent, most of its 56,299 residents are Inuit and its Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is roughly three billion dollars. Cultural, social and political relations with Europe date to around 1000 AD.

According to the Danish Prime Minister, Mette Frederiksen, “Greenland is not for sale. Greenland is not Danish. Greenland belongs to Greenland. I strongly hope that this is not meant seriously.” She is resolute that Greenland is not for sale.

Why would our president even talk about such a stupid idea in public? That's because our president is an idiot, with no filter or common sense. I'm sure his advisors shake their collective heads at the tweets he sends out to the world and the words he speaks in meetings and pressers.

Trump says buying Greenland, where the USA maintains Thule Air Base, would give the USA a strategic military advantage over other nations. Is he referring to his BFF Vladimir Putin, in Russia, who he says would never attack the United States? Does he refer to his bromance partner, in North Korea, Kim Jung Un, who is as crazy as is he? Perhaps Trump fears invasion from Denmark.

Crazy is as crazy does.

I truly can't wait for the next presidential elections to see, finally, Trump kicked out of office. Maybe we'll be lucky and impeachment will come sooner than the election. He must answer for his alleged crimes against the country. Still, crazy is as crazy does.