Saturday 01 Oct 2016

2015 Highlights
Matt Seinberg

A lot certainly happened in 2015 and a few events and personalities stand out for being Grubstreet worthy, at least in my column. So let's recap, shall we?


Islanders hockey team no longer on Long Island, but Brooklyn.

The New York Islanders played their last game at the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum and moved to Brooklyn. I'm not travelling to see them, since they no longer are technically Long Island's team. They do however maintain their offices and practice center on Long Island. To me, that doesn't count.

The world famous wordsmith and major-league baseball player, Yogi Berra died. He was almost as famous for his way with a phrase as he was with being a player and manager for the Yankees as well as a manager for the Mets. I’ll miss him.

The United States Supreme Court declared that same sex marriages are now legal, no matter what Kim Smith said. In my opinion, she should find herself locked up with a lesbian, named Duke, for a week. Her view on gay marriage would certainly have changed.

The New York Mets went to the World Series for the first time since 1988! Although the Mets didn't beat the Kansas City Royals, they did confirm they belonged in the World Series. The Royals played better and that's the whole point of the game. The better team did ultimately win.


Pope Francis brought short-term calm and hope to USA.

Pope Francis visited the United States. For a few days, all was well with the world. He pretty much told everyone to get along. Now, if he could get the crazy people to behave and stop killing unsuspecting women and men, it would be a true miracle.

At the end of December, CBS-TV cancelled "Mike and Molly," with the last shows airing in January 2016. That was Marcy's favourite show. "Mike and Molly" was funny. Still, how long can we watch two overweight people make fat jokes?

Two of the biggest movies of all time released and set records. "Jurassic World" and "Star Wars-The Force Awakens" broke all attendance records. It's astounding how “Star Wars” made a billion dollars, that’s a “b,” as in billion, in its first week of release. I still haven't seen it.

Volkswagen tried to pull the wool over the eyes of everyone with their supposed clean diesel engines that gave fake readings when the car was hooked up to emissions reading machines, but in reality gave off more pollution than was previously reported. Volkswagen recalled eleven million cars worldwide and set aside seven billion dollars for recall repairs. The CEO resigned in disgrace in as well, after blaming it all on the engineers. Sure, like he didn't know what they were doing.


Gasoline prices dropped, thankfully.

Gasoline prices dropped through most of the year and finding the station with the lowest price close to home became a game for many people. It wasn't so much fun when you're cruising on empty with nary a gas station in site. So, the station you just pasdrf was a penny more than the one you were heading for. Big deal. It's not worth being stuck on the side on the road and having to call AAA.

There was big news in the world of corporate mergers too. Walgreen's offered to buy smaller rival Rite Aid for $9.4 billion and that caught the eye of the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), which had questions of whether or not the new company would stifle competition, especially among mail order prescriptions.

Anheuser-Busch InBev and long-time rival SAB Miller are getting married. The combined company hopes to bring the term "bigger is better" to new heights in a $106 billion dollar deal. 

The best deal is the big pharmaceutical companies Pfizer and Allergen getting married. Now, you can have a four erection and look good at the same time, with a Botox injection. What happens if you inject Boxton into the penis, not of the eyebrows? Will those wrinkles go away?


Happy New Year!

So ends 2015, going out with not a bang, but with a whimper because thank goodness we didn't have any snow in the northeast!

 

Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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