Sunday 04 Dec 2016

Holiday Prep
Matt Seinberg

Awhile back, I wrote how retailers and radio stations prepare earlier and earlier each year for Christmas, putting out the decorations and playing holiday music. I had several things happen to me the last two days that brought all of this bubbling back to the surface.

On Friday, I was shopping at JC Penney in our mega mall, Roosevelt Field, which is undergoing a major remodeling. We had bought our kitchen clock there, so I figured that maybe I'll get lucky and find one for the newly remodeled bathroom. Big surprise to me, they no longer had and clocks, at all, in their misnamed house wares department.

As I'm walking around, I notice the music. It's not the usual boring adult contemporary soundtrack of my far away youth. It's now Christmas Music, which makes me want to hurl so hard I would cover the far wall of pots and pans. I truly dislike holiday music, of any type, and hearing the same songs, repeatedly, for the next five weeks is going to make me sick.


I can take four hours, maximum, of Christmas music at work.

I dread the day they turn on that music at work. I complain every year, along with most of the staff; if we're lucky, the managers will put on a channel that isn't all holiday music all the time. I can take about four an hour without wanting to blow my brains out.

The other annoying thing is the idiots and morons that come in the Saturday before Thanksgiving and expect delivery of merchandise by Wednesday. I don't talk about what I do, but suffice to say, what I sell is bigger than a breadbasket and can be bigger than a horse.


I find last minute shoppers irritating.

I laugh inside at the sheer desperation of these knuckle draggers, almost hoping that they can't get what they want when they want it. Talk about procrastination! I always hear the same thing come out of their mouths; "We have family coming over and nowhere for them to sleep." Well, that's too bad; you shouldn't have waiting until the last minute to think about this.

Years ago, when I worked for a rather large international chocolate company, customers would do the same thing; come in at the last minute and want to order a gift for delivery the next day. This is all you have to do at 6 pm on Christmas Eve. Guess what, we're closing; UPS is gone for the day. You can order your gift basket for next year, when we reopen in two days. This way you’ll avoid the last minute rush, next year.

How about the fellow that comes in on Valentine’s Day and buys several different gifts for different woman, hoping he'll get lucky with at least one of them? Sorry, it's 9 pm and we're closing; UPS is gone for the day. You can, however, take them with you and hope you get lucky.


Thanksgiving starta late, for us, this year.

Our Thanksgiving this year is starting late, as Michelle as to work until 5 pm, at her part time job. She asked her grandmother to delay dinner from 3 pm until she gets out of work. Of course, grandma said, “Yes.” This is a benefit of being the first grandchild.

Marcy, Melissa and I will most likely sleep late and then spend some time cleaning the house. Can't you tell how much I'm looking forward to that?

Keep this in mind. If you need to mail something, order something on line or buy it in a store, plan ahead and don't wait until the next minute. The points you score for being early or on time can pay big dividends when you need them the most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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