Monday 26 Sep 2016

Tees Me Off
Jennifer Flaten

I have a few friends who, as the seasons change, change over their wardrobes, accordingly. I enjoy listening to them describe how they spent the weekend pulling their winter wardrobe out of its special climate controlled storage and put it in their cedar-lined closet. Oh wait, is that my jealousy showing? Yeah, let me retract that.


Some friends store clothes by fiber content.

A few of the more high maintenance friends group their clothes in their closets by fiber content. I admire their system. Still, I think I will stick with mine.

I change over my clothing for the different season, by sliding the sweaters from one end of the clothes pole to the other. Voila, I’m ready for winter. If I’m feeling especially organized I might refold all my sweatshirts. The kids change to the winter practice of finishing their outfits off with a formal hoodie.

These same people also wash their summer clothes and neatly fold them away in a moth-proof box then stow it safely away in the attic. I just designate one drawer the “summer drawer” and let the shorts and tank tops slumber away until next summer. Besides, with global warming it possible, we could have a heat wave in February and I can grab a pair of shorts with no problem.


I pack seasonal clothes in different storage bins.

Last spring, I packed away all the winter gear; hats, gloves and so forth into a nice plastic storage bin. I pulled that bin from its secure storage spot when the weather turned this past weekend. Okay, so it was sitting in the mudroom where I left it 8 months ago. I still get an “atta girl” because I had the winter items out before the cold weather struck.

Besides, we have too many T-shirts to consider changing the wardrobes, seasonally. I would need to rent a storage locker just to house the kids T-shirts.

Yes, I have T-shirts, they are, in fact, one of my favourite clothes to wear; the kids take it to a completely new level. I think about 90% of my daughters’ wardrobe is T-shirts and lets not talk about the boy, okay? He has nothing but Tees all of them in violent shades of neon.

All these T-shirts are from school, somewhere in this town is the Baron of Tees. This crafty businessperson is able to retire to the Caribbean. He’s convinced the school district to commemorate every event, and I mean every event, in school with a T-shirt.

Joined a club, this is great and please buy a T-shirt. Tees are mandatory for all club members: no tee, no membership. Celebrating spirit week, buy this special team building T-shirt. Make sure to wear it on mandatory T-shirt Monday. No, you can’t wear a plain T-shirt from home it must the spirit shirt.


My son gets hand-me-down tees from his sisters.

Conformity thy name is Hanes Cotton soft. Kids love nothing more than to look exactly like their peers, so I applaud the school for picking T-shirts. No, I’m serious, it could be worse. T-shirts are affordable, they last a long time and most of them, most, are cute. Image, Nicki Minaj designing the spirit clothes, not an administrator of a Midwestern middle school.

I do feel sorry for my son. He will soon be wearing these shirts, as I hand down tees from his sisters to him. He just out grew a T-shirt handed down from the girls. One of the girls got it during a second grade read-a-thon. He should just be happy I don’t make him wear the old Hello Kitty sparkly t-shirts.

Yeah, we don’t waste stuff in this house.

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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