Monday 26 Sep 2016

Book Shop
Jennifer Flaten

A snowstorm is heading our way, and if the weather forecaster was to correct, it was going to be snowmageddon. So, naturally I stopped to stock up on the essentials--books. What you don’t consider books one of the essentials? I certainly do. In fact, I rank them right up there with cupcakes and toilet paper.

I am not kidding. When I found out that a large, have to quantify it, I mean this is Wisconsin after all, it has to be a large snow storm to get us to change our plans, snow storm was predicted for today, I made a special stop at the library for more books.

It doesn’t matter that I just went to the library on Monday and it was only Saturday. As of Friday, I’d nearly exhausted my new batch of books. Full disclosure, while I am a fast reader, my current lack of reading material had less to do with my reading speed and more to do with an abysmal selection of books on Monday.

A huge storm was looking and I am dangerously low on books. In case you’re wondering, to me dangerously low equal one book I am currently reading and two backup books. Imagine the horror if both the backup books turn out to be a duds. I shudder to think of spending the entire day trapped inside with nothing to read. The horror. The horror.

Actually, that isn’t true I would still have stuff to read, but it would be stuff I’ve already read. I only do that in extremely dire circumstances. Mainly, because many of the books on my bookshelves are books I bought on impulse and hated. If I didn’t like them the first time, I sure as hell won’t like them a second time, especially, if I am sulking because I don’t have any new releases.

Why am I keeping them? In case of emergency of course. Yes, I would be desperate enough to re-read a book I hated just to have something to read--I am looking at you Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher.

At library, I noticed a sign listing their holiday hours. Closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! If I had my way, the library would be like the Kwik-E Mart, open 24/7. I probably shouldn’t tell you that the mere thought of not having access to the library’s selection of glorious books for two days made me twitchy.

Hmm, just to be on the safe side I better stop there on Monday and pick up a few more books. You know just in case a couple of my books turn out to be duds.

I don’t have a problem, who says I have a problem? Is it a problem if I get so engrossed in a book that the kids have to call my name three times? Is it a problem if I stay up until 2a to finish the book? Is it a problem that I’ve changed plans so I can finish reading a book?

Anyway, after I made the critical book stop, I also stopped at the grocery store just like every other living person in the winter weather-warning zone. Difference is everyone else was there on a special grocery store run to stock up for the storm, while I was there on my daily milk and cereal run. Geez, my kids eat a lot of cereal and we drink so much milk that I would seriously consider buying a cow….except I really hate warm milk. It took approximately 30 minutes to purchase one gallon of milk, and that was in the self-checkout aisle. Good thing I had a book with me.

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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