A Canadian connection
Tim Sexton

If you thought, charging $30 for 8 ounces of material, which most women wear beneath their clothing, was the most outrageous crime perpetrated by "Victoria's Secret," you're in for a surprise.

Isn't it enough that Victoria's Secret charges up to ten times or more for the same product you can buy elsewhere? Isn't it enough the cadaverous models, employed by "Victoria's Secret" contribute to the worsening problem of low self-esteem among young women, as young as eight or nine? Isn't it enough that those same models contribute to the aggressively objectified view that young boys have of women?

No, it isn't enough. "Victoria's Secret" is also contributing mightily to global warming. I know President Bush has said that, if global warming exists, there is no evidence what we do is a cause. Do keep in mind this is the same President who told you US soldiers would be uncovering huge stockpiles of WMDs in Iraq. Do you think he might not be aware of "Victoria's Secret"?

How is Victoria's Secret making the world an even more dangerous place for your children and grandchildren to live? How is Victoria's Secret contributing to higher cooling costs? Well, it's destroying the Boreal Forest, in Canada.

Trees, as you probably know, are a key ingredient in protecting the earth from the ravages of the sun. Trees help regulate the temperature of the earth. Destroy the trees and what you have left is a desolate rock.

The Boreal Forest in Canada is huge. Huge, I tell ya! How huge? Does 1.5 billion acres strike you as huge? Few people live in or around the Boreal Forest. There's not much activism to stop the "free for all" logging companies enjoy. Get this: a whopping 60% of the trees cut down in the Boreal Forest, in Canada, produce paper products sold in the USA.

"Victoria's Secret" shares in blame for such outrage. Do you get a "Victoria's Secret" catalogue in the mail? If you don't, you're a minority. "Victoria's Secret" mails 395 million catalogues each year. Read that again: 395 million, each year. The company mails more than a million catalogues a day, 365 days a year. That's more than the total number of homes in America. That's a huge number of freaking catalogues.

The printing of these catalogues uses virgin, non-recycled paper. Most people, with the notable exceptions of teenage boys and fans of Pamela Anderson, toss the virgin paper catalogues into the garbage, in short order. Just think what "Victoria's Secret" would do if every household receiving a "Victoria's Secret" catalogue sent it back for recycling, with the postage due. Now is that a great idea or what?

Of course, postage due would cost "Victoria's Secret" money, a lot of money, instead of earning them more money. When you start to think about it, maybe "Victoria's Secret" executives had this plan in mind all along. What company stands to benefit more from global warming than a skimpy lingerie business? Once the planet gets warm enough, we'll all be walking around in silky underwear. Just to stay and be cool.