The 2011 TV Season
Matt Seinberg

When I sit down at my computer to write this column, I usually have a fragment of an idea or, hopefully, a full-blown topic to write about. Today, that didn’t happen and then I started typing and televisions flew out. So put your recliners back, and enjoy the show.

The new fall television season arrived, a time all couch potatoes anticipate, anxiously. I admit, I watched too much television as a kid and probably still do as an adult. I have collected “TV Guide Fall Preview” issues since I was a kid. I have each one since 1970, exception for 1978, I think.

In fact, five years ago I missed the issue and called the magazine to ask them to send me a copy. I talked with a nice woman who said “Yes.” I had the magazine a week or so later, along with a bill, for $3, I forgot to pay.

A couple of years ago, I forgot, again, and posted a message on a message board to that effect. A fellow I knew in Queens kindly sent me that issue. Television watchers sure do look out for one another.

Here are the new shows I have watched, for better or worse. The biggest hype was over Ashton Kutcher joining “Two and a Half Men.” Why did they have kill off Charlie Harper? Why couldn’t they put him in a hospital, leaving the door open for Charlie Sheen to return after apologizing for his behaviour? The show just isn’t the same without Charlie. Now we know why Ashton took the job; he didn’t have Demi Moore supporting him anymore.

“Pan Am” took off from the airport and I predict it will make a fast and fiery landing. The over acting and multiple storylines not only make it confusing, but boring. Why did they have to put in a subplot about the CIA?

“Two Broke Girls” is funny in a car wreck sort of way. It‘s just so bad, that you can’t help but look. Kill it now and put us out of our misery.

“New Girl” is trying too hard to be cool and funny. Zooey Deschanel is trying too hard to be one of the boys, yet, a sexy female at the same time. I watched the second episode, and there won’t be another showing for me. Send Zooey back to the movies.

“Unforgettable” is another cop show, but with a twist. Poppy Montgomery is Carrie Wells, who has Superior Autobiographical Memory, which means she cannot forget anything. How cool is that? If I had that talent, I’d go on Jeopardy and win lots of money. I watched two episodes, of “Unforgettable,” and have yet to decide if I’ll give it another chance.

“X-Factor” is an “American Idol” wannabe. I can’t figure out why Fox would bring yet another talent show to prime time, other than a lead in to “AI’s” next season. This is just the Simon and Paula show, with co-stars L.A. Reid and Nicole Scherzinger. I watched the first show and, after seeing the half-naked performer, knew there wouldn’t be a next episode for me.

“Up All Night” should be lights out. I’ve never been a Will Arnett fan, and seeing Christina Applegate play an over stressed mom of a new born baby, her past cuteness has worn off.

Revoke the contract of “Free Agents.” It was awful! How could anyone talk such a talented actor, that is, Hank Azaria, into doing this terrible show about a public relations company?

“Person of Interest” with Jim Caviezel, as Reese, and Michael Emerson, as Finch, is fabulous. If you like justified violence, and the idea of Big Brother watching you to save lives, this show is for you. Taraji P. Henson is Detective Carter, who arrested Reese in the first episode. If you want more info, watch the show.

“Whitney” stars Whitney Cummings and Chris D’Elia as thirty something singles who have been seeing each other for three years, and now live together. TV Guide called it an updated “Mad About You.” I would agree with that except their circle of friends isn’t as interesting or funny. Whitney also helped to create “Two Broke Girls.” Let’s hope that she maintains focus on her own show.

“Prime Suspect” is an adaptation of the ground breaking British series that starred Helen Mirren. Maria Bello is no Helen Mirren. Detective Jane Timoney is fighting to earn the respect of the male dominated squad she works and doesn’t care how she does it. I watched one episode and was bored. This is just another slow cop show.

“How to Be a Gentleman” is “How to Be Cancelled, Quickly.” It’s another stupid roommate show. It wants, desperately, to be “The Odd Couple,” only it’s not nearly as funny. Kevin Dillon and David Hornsby are not Jack Klugman and Tony Randall by any stretch of the imagination.

This new television season has been a bust. I’ll stick with some of my tried and true show, such as all the CSIs, Blue Bloods, Fringe, Mike and Molly, How I Met Your Mother, Hawaii Five-O, both NCIS, Modern Family, which is my favourite, The Big Bang Theory, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and my wife’s favourite show, Desperate Housewives, is in its eighth and final season.

Now I look forward to the summer shows on cable, Covert Affairs, Royal Pains, Warehouse 13, American Pickers and Pawn Stars.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Boardwalk Empire is back on HBO and as good, with promises for better, than the first season. The violence and intrigue are still intact, as well as the depth of the characters. Michael Shannon is exceptional as the creepy government agent. This is a watchable show, combining the elements of good versus evil, history and gratuitous sex.

So set your DVRs to record your favourite shows and don’t bother with most of the drek above. You’ll thank me for it.