Sunday 25 Sep 2016

VIP Treatment
Jennifer Flaten

Recently, I went to the movies. Which one is really immaterial. Oh, okay, if you really must know, it was Madagascar 2.

Yes, I know it's a kid's movie. Unfortunately, due to majority rule, kid's movies are about all I get out to see these days.

Anyway, our local theatre now gives you the option to purchase special V.I.P seating in the "Ultra" screen theatre.

This just struck me as ridiculous. Isn't the point of the "Ultra" screen that everyone gets a good seat? Why would anyone pay extra to be seated in the "V.I.P" section is beyond me, and furthermore, what exactly makes it so special?

As much as I wanted to know what made that section special, I didn't have the chance to ask, I was busy helping three children purchase their own individual tickets.

Movies have gotten so pricey that I have the children save up allowance and gift money so that they may pay for their own movie tickets. It is the only way to make the trip affordable.

Since the special V.I.P seats were in the same theatre as the general peasant seating, I tried to see get a glimpse of what made them special as we walked past them to our regular person seating.

As far as I could tell, they weren't gold plated nor did they come with a box of chocolates.

Perhaps, the chairs are extra cushy or perhaps they have massaging action. The massaging action would totally come in handy during mind numbingly boring movies or for those Hollywood epics.

V.I.P movie seats are just plain silly if you ask me. In fact, if you really think about, this is the kind of thinking that got us into our present financial crisis.

We were so quick to take out a second mortgage so we could treat ourselves to all sorts of little "luxuries" and look where we are now.

In terms of little luxuries, this theatre doesn't just sell V.I.P seating, oh no, they have a special theatre the Palladium which offers in movie meals.

Yep, you can now eat a chicken dinner while watching the latest Bond movie. It seems ordinary popcorn and Jujubes are just not enough, we need meat and potatoes with our movie!

What is so fantastically, stupid about this is, you pay almost twice as much for a dinner movie as a regular showing and that is just the showing, you still have to buy the food.

Uh-huh all extra money gets you a seat in a swiveling office chair at what amounts to a cafeteria table. All so, you can snarf down your food while watching the flick. It is so, oh I don't know, American to be sitting in a theatre watching a movie and gnawing on a chicken bone.

I mean really for that you could stay home and eat a TV dinner and watch a rented DVD, it would be a whole heck of a lot cheaper.

Geez, and we just can't understand why we are so heavy, could it be the constant sitting and snacking?

It is not even that pleasant of time. Yes, I know from first hand experience. I confess I went to see a movie in the "Palladium" theatre.

It was the only theatre showing a movie my kids really wanted to see. Which is how I found myself paying an exorbitant amount of money for a seat in the Palladium theatre?

I was aghast at the total cost of the movie seating. Needless to say, we had nothing to eat or drink during the movie.

If you can get past the price (and really who could), there is the annoying fact that the servers creep around dark theatre, during the movie taking orders and delivering food.

The tables come equipped with tiny little lights; you know you have to be able to see what you are eating.

If you are unlucky and you might find yourself next to someone eating something really noisy like nachos. If you do, you may have a hard time concentrating on the movie.

I found myself very, very under whelmed by the whole concept of eating during the movies.

Although, I seem to be in the minority every time I scan the movie listings the Palladium has multiple showings of the latest blockbuster.

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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