Wednesday 28 Sep 2016

Let it Snow
Jennifer Flaten

Well, I survived. Survived what you ask? Why the great blizzard of 2009. What you didn't hear about?! Yes, here in Wisconsin we got snow. Yes, snow in Wisconsin. I know, how odd. Who would expect to get snow in a northern state?

Some places got a foot of it at one time! Did we survive? Oh wait, we should expect snow. Wisconsin gets snow regularly every winter. Sure, some winters it comes a little later than usual but we always get snow. Yet, every winter the same thing happens; mass panic, round the clock television coverage and other silliness.

Trust me it gets old very quick.

I try to ignore all the snow hype. It's hard; so very hard. It's all anyone talks about from the minute the snow appears, on the radar. Once the "s" word is uttered, the local TV begins non-stop coverage.

Never mind the storm is presently several states away and it could take a left at Albuquerque or lose all its umph before it gets to our state, the media is all about the storm.

The asinine articles start, like how to shovel, how not to have a heart attack while shoveling and my personal favorite how not to get your fingers chopped off while clearing the snow blower auger or chute.

It is somewhat entertaining to watch the stations duke it out on the storm coverage. One station has radar that tracks the storm on street level. "Look maw, the storm is driving by the house." Another station has a weatherman that pledges to stay on the air non-stop for storm's duration. Who knows why.

Let's not forget the station that sends a crew out in the blowing, drifting snow and sends back dash-cam video of how dangerous it is to drive.

I admit I have to pay a wee bit of attention to the weather. I do have small people that attend school. It would be down right embarrassing to arrive at school only to find it closed due to inclement weather.

By 4 pm on the eve of snow-opocolypse, full disclosure here, I stole snow-opocolypse from someone, as much as I would love to take credit for it I can't-the kids are absolutely positively sure that there will be no school the next day, because that is what they heard at school.

Call me crazy, but if I was in charge I would maybe, oh just maybe, wait until it starts snowing before I talk about closing the school.

All around the area, the area blanketed in the universal sign of dangerous weather-pink events canceled. Each one a victim of premature snow cancellation. I take full credit that one.

Everything from dance classes to H1N1 clinics wiped from the calendar in anticipation of the blizzard. Yep, blizzard, the weather service was positive that it would be a blizzard, of biblical proportions according to one weatherman. Huh, so much for global warming.

I admit I did buy extra supplies in case of snow. Okay, the supplies mostly consisted of extra hot cocoa with mini marshmallows (for the kids hence the kind with mini marshmallows), projects, again for the kids, and aspirin for me; I'll need it after a full day of snow fun with the kids.

By 8 pm, several schools closed, but not ours. The next day dawned snowy and well, snowy. Our district, much to the small person's dismay remained open. This took me by surprise. I was actually, looking forward to a leisurely morning. Damn you weatherman!

Instead, I had to hustle to clear a path through the heavy wet snow. Note-I didn't have a heart attack and I didn't lose any fingers while clearing the auger! What do you know; I did learn something from TV.

Then I had to break it to the children, "You have to go to school."

Amid their repeated cries of 'why and it's not fair'. I got them dressed and ready for school. It was a pretty nasty day and the drive was a pain in the butt.

Frankly, my main concern was that they had better not close the school early. Hell's bells if I went through this much work to get the kids to school then they had better darn well stay there all day.

As far as the kids were concerned as long as they got to sled at some point during the day they were happy campers.

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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