Friday 02 Dec 2016

Parliament Hill Follies: 3
Bob Stark

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date
me to say hello, goodbye, I'm late I'm late I'm late!!!!"
White Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known across the land that the King is mad; bonkers, unhinged, gone off his rocker, to wit, he's bleeding cracked!

"We will have fixed elections", he proclaimed. Then we didn't.

"We will have a government that will co-operate with the opposition" he promised. Then we didn't.

"The fundamentals of the Canadian economy are sound" he assured us. Poppycock.

"The coalition is a conspiracy" he shouted on National TV.

Is the conniving coward paranoid or simply just plain stupid?

Well, when a rat gets cornered, it runs and scurries down the nearest rat hole. Close the gates. Prorogue the house. Accuse the opposition of nefarious plots. tape their meetings (Is this rat related to Richard Nixon by any chance??)Call them undemocratic, un-Canadian. Say or do anything to save your rat fur. Telephone, immediately, the new leader of the opposition, aka Iggy, and say "how's it going ole chum, can we talk?" ....likely behind the other parties' backs. Good on Iggy, for saying no closed door, secret discussions.

Now..in total fear of 'the others' and in yet another abdication of another promise - an elected Senate -our fearful, paranoid, crouching tiger 'leader' is about to stack the seats in the Upper Chamber with unelected Conservative hacks.

I thought parliament was prorogued?

What else can this cheap trick artist, who doesn't like the arts,do while keeping the people's elected representatives from the corridors of parliament? What other wool has he got up his fox-in-sheep's-clothing sleeves to pull over our eyes.

Mackenzie King used to talk to his dead mother and consult with his dog. Don't think for a minute that we're immune from electing complete loonie birds as Prime Ministers. It's one thing for the king to have no clothes, quite another for the prime minister to have no clothes-hanger!

Did the Mad Hatter even wince when CBC's Peter Mansbridge asked him, seriously, if he had any regrets, if he had made ANY mistakes in recent weeks to cause the current furor on the Hill and divide the country. He didn't even friggin' blink. Like all sociopaths, he just smiled and lied outright.

Even his lifelong guardian angel, Tom Flanagan, thinks Pinocchio should temper his temper, his complete 24/7 Viagra-induced hard-on to sabotage the opposition.

I guess when someone is so self-centred, so narcissistic, so delusional, so paranoid, ya can't see the forests and NOT alsosee moving trees. Is he a Zenmaster - perfecting the lesson that the world is an illusion? Can he see his friggin' toes!!

Well, his hair's to slick for my liking; he's too clean. I'd like to see him pick his nose or something. The guy's suffering form some obsessive-compulsive disorder. Wait! That might be a good thing!!

According to Freudian theory, a lot of people who are excessively, obsessively, dusting and cleaning up their abodes, actually have a deep dark desire to jump in a mud pile or pig sty. They actually are ashamed of the fact that they'd loved to poke their snout into a bucket of slime or bathe naked in a heap of sewer sludge...so they bury that desire deep in their psyche and get out the dust mops.Ever see him drink from his glass of water at the podium? He looks like he's afraid fish have fornicated in it. Well, I digress...

The point is, deep down inside Steve is a raging socialist-democrat who can't wait to provide universal child care!!!!

What do ya think?

Go ask Alice, I think she'll know...

The Cheshire Cat..the sheepish grin with no body.....Gilles Duceppe?

The hookah smoking Caterpillar..played by Shoeshine Salesman Taliban Jack.....he's clearly smoking something! The ship of state is heading for the rocks and by golly he'll be there to lead the wreckage.

Stephane Dion as the Mock Turtle, described in Wikipedia as follows..

"He tells Alice his history of going to school in the sea, but cannot understand the school system that Alice describes to him....."

Right, grew up in the halls of academia and has absolutely no idea how parliament works!

and wait for it...

Iggy co-starring as Dodo...

are ya still with me?

are ya sitting down!!!?

In 'Alice in Wonderland', Dodo proposes a Caucus Race.... "where the participants run in patterns of any shape, starting and leaving off whenever they like, so that everyone wins."

Wikipedia goes on to say..

"The Caucus Race as depicted by Carroll is a satire on the political caucus system, mocking its lack of clarity and decisiveness."

So, there ya have it, the PM mad as a hatter and everyone hasfallen down the rabbit hole.

And if you go chasing rabbits...

... remember what the dormouse said....

feed your head...

Keep your turkeys in the oven.

Bob Stark is a musician, poet, philosopher and couch potato. He spends his days, as did Jean-Paul Sarte and Albert Camus, pouring lattes and other adult beverages into a recycled mug, bearing a long and winding crack. He discusses, with much insight and passion, the existentialist and phenomenological ontology of the Vancouver 'Canucks,' a hockey team, "Archie" comic books and high school reunions. In other words, Bob Stark is a retired public servant living the good life on the wrong coast of Canada.

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