Saturday 03 Dec 2016

No Clue
Matt Seinberg

How many times in your life have you looked at someone in absolute and utter amazement because of something they said and they have no clue what they may have done wrong? We, my wife and I, had that happen with our daughters when they are old enough to handle certain chores around the house.


I didn't see the note.

We’d leave our daughters a note, listing needed chores, in the morning, before we left for work. We fully expected that when we get home from work, our daughters had done those chores, but, in fact, we were wrong. Of course, the question was asked, "Why didn't you do the things on the list I left you?"

Here's their answer, "I didn't see the note."

Oh, now they are blind and dumb. This is how we're going to play it? Just wait until you want or need something from me. I'll laugh in your face and walk away.

We can have certain exchanges, with our family, which we couldn't possibly have with strangers. Here's something that happened at work today.

One of the female associates asked for help doing something on the computer. I knew that she knew how to do it, but chose to have a brain fart at that particular moment. Instead of just telling her how to do it, I sat down and did it for her, explaining what I was doing at the same time.

Had I just explained it, it would have taken three times as long.


"Here's your sign," says Bill Engvall.

I also had to figure out the money for her and the customer, since they both had a glazed over look in their eyes. As it turns out, I did all that for nothing. The customer decided not to buy those items; five minutes I won’t get back.

“Here's your sign,” says comedian Bill Engvall.

I guess having no clue about what's going on around you is certainly worthy of getting one of these signs. They are priceless and unbelievable, even though they are usually invisible. Only the truly dumb and stupid can actually see them.

Some people make a life out of being clueless. That's going to describe most blonde-haired women or most teenage girls.


She thought weekends were excluded.

My daughter, Michelle, was out with her cousin last week and parked in a spot that she shouldn't have. When she got to her car, there was a parking ticket on the windshield. She was in a no parking zone, which was in effect from 9 pm to 4 pm. Huh? Those are very strange hours for a no parking zone.

She went back to make sure; she told me the sign said weekends were excluded. Nope. She called to admit she had a blonde moment. Well, that moment is costing her $180 for the parking ticket. I'm sure not going to pay for. That's a rather expensive reading lesson.

Once again, here's your sign.

Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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