Monday 24 Oct 2016

Juliet the Thief
AJ Robinson

Our dog Juliet is prone to getting into mischief. If she isn’t chasing squirrels or cats, she’s trying to run up trees or going for a swim in the pool. It also appears that she’s a thief. Some months ago, we noted her first act of thievery. My wife and I are always so good about hanging Juliet’s leash by the door. It makes sense. After all, when we want to take her for a walk, we need her leash, and a walk always takes place outside. So, what more natural place to keep her leash than right there?

The thing was, we started finding her leash in my office aka the guest room, lying on the floor. How had it gotten there? At first, we thought maybe one of us had carried it with us, set it down, and then forgotten it. But, when it happened for about the fourth time, we got suspicious.

Then, other things began to disappear; only to appear in the office. My socks were these as well as bags of chips, my belt, a t-shirt and so on. We could never catch her at any of these deeds, but it was clear she was responsible; all the acts took place while we were away, and she was the only one at home. When you have one pet, it’s a lot like having one child; if something’s wrong, you know who did it! You don’t have to play the whole question-and-answer game.

The truly funny thing about Juliet’s acts was that she merely took the items and laid them out in the office. The Twizzles and chips, she just set them on the futon. The leash and clothes, she made a little pile of them on the floor, and curled up with them. So, we just learned to keep things up high enough to not present too tempting a target of her interest.

It appeared that Juliet’s successes at her criminal enterprises had emboldened her. We came home to find still more items collected by her, and they were all things that had been on the top kitchen counter. Ah, but that was not the full extent of her endeavors; oh no. There were little bitty paws prints in the kitchen sink! On top of that, all the dirty plates and pots had been licked clean.

It seemed Juliet had gotten herself a little snack as well. And who says crime doesn’t pay.

Combining the gimlet-eye, of Philip Roth, with the precisive mind of Lionel Trilling, AJ Robinson writes about what goes bump in the mind, of 21st century adults. Raised in Boston, with summers on Martha's Vineyard, AJ now lives in Florida. Most of the time he writes, but sometimes he works at Disney World to renew his fantasies and get a few dollars more. AJ writes, with insight and passion, about his family and his dog. His liberal, note the small "l," sensibilities often lead to bouts of righteous indignation, well focused and true.

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