Saturday 03 Dec 2016

The Hockey Game
Jennifer Flaten

I love hockey. It is fast moving, interesting and it is the perfect game for someone with a short attention span, like me. Although I don’t get to attend games as often as I like, we did manage to squeeze one game in this season.

I am certainly never bored at the game. If the puck isn’t moving then at least two of the players are fighting. 

Not only is the action fast, but there is the element of danger. You never know when the puck might you. A rogue hot dog, from the towering mass of snacks that sports fans or at least sports fans here in Wisconsin, feel honor bound to eat, might fall on you.

Over the course of the game, I watched several of my section mates make numerous trips to the snack bar. They missed a lot of the game in their quest for snacks.

After paying for the ticket and parking it seems foolish to miss that much of the game for a pizza and waffle cone. One fellow made so many trips he must have thought he was at a buffet that came with a hockey game.

He kept coming back with all manner of food. Do I even need to say and beer? This is Wisconsin, after all beer is available at all times. I’ve attended funerals with beer on tap for the mourners.

I am not exaggerating. I am surprised that more schools don‘t offer beer during school functions. It would certainly improve the turn out for little Jimmy‘s musical about the Constitution.

Don’t laugh, I am not a real big drinker, but my fifth graders have a musical coming up about, you guessed it, the Constitution and I am seriously considering having a beer.

You don’t know fun, until you’ve heard two fifth graders belting out a tune about taxation without representation.

I have no problem with the occasional hot dog at the game, although, personally, I am too cheap to buy one, but that‘s about it.

I’ve noticed that sports fans are not content to have the usual arena food like popcorn, pretzels and hot dogs anymore. Now you can buy food that requires utensils to eat.

I am okay with a sundae, I guess. Personally, I don’t want to eat a hot fudge sundae in the ice arena; whatever floats your boat is okay, I guess. I know my kids were eying up the hot fudge sundae, but had to settle for the emergency licorice I found in the bottom of my purse.

All moms have some sort of emergency food at the bottom of their purse. If you are lucky, it is something like my licorice. If you are unlucky, it is a baggie of Cheerios from when the kids, who are now teenagers, were toddlers.

I draw the line at things like spaghetti & meatballs at a sporting event. You’re crammed in the arena seats like sardines or at least you are in the steerage section where I normally sit do you really want to be next to a hockey fan wolfing down a full Mexican fajita platter complete with refried beans?

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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