Sunday 25 Sep 2016

Ice Cream Cake
Jennifer Flaten

Another Mother’s Day or as I’ve come to think of it, “the day we make all sorts of wild and crazy promises about how we are going to behave and what we are going to do for you mom, but then we forget those promises five minutes after we make them and end up misbehaving so bad you threaten to spray us with the hose,” day has come and gone.

Ah, how I love Mother’s Day because I get stuff. I love stuff. My house is full of stuff and there’s room for much more stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to hear your children tell you how much they love and appreciate you. I just find those heartfelt words are all the sweeter when accompanied by cake and brightly wrapped packages. Oh, who am I kidding I don’t care if the gifts are wrapped in a brown paper bag, as they often are in this house, I like presents.

This year, in addition to the pre-selected gifts, I got an ice cream cake. Yes, I pre-select my gifts. How else do I get exactly what I want? I pretty much make an alphabetized list with pictures and a detailed store map. Hey, it makes life easier for all of us.

Anyway, back to the ice cream cake. Let me tell you nothing, and I mean nothing, says how much your family loves you than does layers of ice cream, hot fudge and cookie pieces. I am tearing up thinking about it.

I know you are wondering, how did I to cheat on my faithful snack item, the cupcake, especially on a holiday. Well, let me explain, although I did feel a teensy bit disloyal to the cupcake, I ultimately chose the ice cream cake for two reasons. First, it is cake and ice cream together--really do I need a second reason?

Second, yes, I do have a very good second reason, you can purchase them fully decorated from the ice cream shop, thus eliminating a decorating battle royal. Normal people just put a little icing and some sprinkles on a cake and stop for the day. Not in this house, nothing half-way here, we go all out.

Here the children equate frosting, sprinkles and such with love. They apparently love me a whole lot. This conclusion bases solely on the amount of frosting they use.

Still, I want to prevent the children from engaging in decorating mortal combat. That is right; I suggested we get an ice cream cake because I didn’t want fisticuffs breaking out in the kitchen over who is hogging the pink icing. Yes, that did happen and no, you don’t want to know the results; let's just say a piping bag fits really well into a nostril.

I assume the kids see the cake decorating as a way to win most favored child position for the rest of their lives, when really all it would take is for them to do something the first time I asked. Especially, if that request is something like “release your sibling from the headlock,” but alas, I don’t see them winning that award anytime soon.

Jennifer Flaten lives where the local delicacy is fried cheese, Wisconsin. She writes about family life, its amusing or not so amusing moments. "At least it's not another article on global warming," she says. Jennifer bakes a mean banana bread and admits an unusual attraction to balloon animals and cup cakes. Busy preparing for the zombie apocalypse, she stills finds time to write "As I See It," her witty, too often true column. "My urge to write," says Jennifer, "is driven by my love of cupcakes, with sprinkles on top. Who wouldn't write for cupcakes, with sprinkles," she wonders.

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